Autobotography

I am currently a student at Vermont College of Fine Arts in the Writing for Children and Young Adults program. I am an elementary school librarian in Ithaca, NY.

At the writing of this Decepticonography my wife, Amy, and I have a son who is 3 months old named Avi. He is friggin’ awesome. He is named after one of me and my wife’s favorite children’s author.

I am a Kung Fu warrior.

I occasionally write Newbery acceptance speeches in the shower or on road trips.

I write so that I may someday hobnob with my favorite authors and call them by their first names and be their kids’ godfather. But like, the Marlon Brando kind. Not Pacino.

I do not enter numbers into the microwave that end in evens. My coffee warms up at 57 seconds and my popcorn at 3 minutes and 43 seconds. I try not to play the piano when I’m the only one in the house for fear of opening a doorway into some kind of demon world.

I also write songs.

I would like to entertain you.

That is all.

4 thoughts on “Autobotography

  1. Do you remember when we drove from New York to Louisiana, you sat at my backdoor with a guitar, in the humid New Orleans air, and later you underwent Jedi training from my husband?

    Well, that later that week, after I made you a plateful of pancakes and bacon, you told me that someday I’d make a great mother, so I named one of my kids Benjamin.

    Hope you remember me, kiddo. Congrats on the wife and baby, yo!

Go ahead, you can tell me.

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